Santa Barbara’s new streaming service
In Santa Barbara, monopoly cable company Cox controls what we can see on our TVs – for years we’ve had to pay their hefty fees for packages filled with extra shows we don’t even want to watch – plus, we have to pay for streaming services like HBO Max, Netflix, Apple +, Disney + or Anything +. In fact, Apple + may add a fee to see the next season of its hugely popular comedy. Ted lasso.
What’s worse is that each service only has two or three shows that we really want to watch. It would be so much easier if there was only a service we could look on all of our favorite shows – and, since we’re making this up, wouldn’t it be great if this streaming service were free?
Well, we don’t have to make it up, it’s here in our own town! Knockoff Productions is a little-known and far-too-imagined Santa Barbara-based streaming service that creates cheap local versions of the shows we all want to see – they just shoot them without well-paying stars and with very small budgets. . Here’s a list of Knockoff’s most popular streaming shows:
A yoga teacher playing the mandolin seeks inner peace on perilous journeys through dark landscapes from Carpinteria to Goleta; he carries with him, and inexplicably protects, a plush green alien doll with Vulcan ears.
The wonderful Mrs. Marzipan
In a period play set in the late 1950s, a married but frustrated young pastry chef laughs and attracts an audience during her daily deliveries of her fresh baked goods to the many cafes on Lower State Street.
The afternoon show
Outrageous behavior, behind-the-scenes drama and joke-filled outtakes highlight this production recorded on iPhones by staff at Ellen Degeneres Show when they were filming during the pandemic at her home in Montecito.
The twilight light zone
Live cameras of everything broadcast from approximately 6:15 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. on commercial and residential surveillance cameras in Summerland.
The still optimistic Fred Lasso literally moved to the upscale neighborhoods when he quit his volunteer position as flag football coach at Franklin Elementary School and accepted the position of head coach of the Santa Barbara football team. Middle School, a school and a sport that he knows perfectly well. nothing. He humorously struggles to understand and cope with the elitist culture that surrounds his new position.
Videos taken by passengers reveal the endless Waiting for Godot lifestyle of flight attendants working on airplanes at Santa Barbara Airport.
Raised by coyotes
Coyotes raise their young in the Los Padres National Forest. A refreshing animal show unique in that it is do not narrated by Richard Attenborough.
The tale of the hand
A futuristic sex saga featuring self-inflicted soft-core porn; shot in a decadent mansion on a so-called dystopian estate in Gilead (locals think it’s near the Old Mission) in the years following the Second American Civil War.
An Irishman moves his family to the Funk Zone in an attempt to start his life anew, but huge unpaid shipping charges from his previous activity haunt him – so he constantly has to hide from the menacing men in shorts and brown shirts who appear to be constantly driving around his neighborhood. in big brown trucks.
Lucifer, Larry and Lucille
The Devil decides to return to Hell because living in Hell was easier than living in his studio on the Lower Riviera with his parents during the pandemic.
While these are Knockoff’s most popular shows, their list of documentaries is just as impressive – My student Octopus (shot at City College) is not to be missed.
So – Santa Barbarians – if you want to stop paying for expensive Cox packages filled with shows you’ve never heard of – subscribe to Knockoff where you can see all the shows you love without paying a dime! Of course, like any other streaming service, Knockoff will sell your email address and personal information to anyone who wants to buy it – meaning you’ll be inundated with ads for things you think you want a little bit but don’t really need … for the rest of your life. But hey, at least you don’t have to pay to see Fred lasso.